So I had a bit of a ‘oh crap’ health moment recently. One of those moments when I realise that if I don’t slow this train down and take care of myself, I am headed for serious health repercussions.I know I can make it back, I’ve done it before, but I kick myself that I let is slide. Doesn’t take much. Bit of stress here, extra shift there, sick kids, school holidays, whatever and before you know it, BAM!
And so I find myself back at this wall. You know the one I’m talking about right? The wall that looms up fast after weeks of sitting behind your desk racing towards deadlines, or chasing after kids and homework and afterschool activities?
I’m pretty sure it’s not just me, and whilst I’m not alone, it is a terribly lonely place to be standing. Rummaging through my closet trying to find something comfortable & nice to wear. Refusing to go and buy the next size up because gosh darn it I’ve done this before & I’m going to do it again! Falling into bed too exhausted to even say goodnight and kiss my husband. Brushing off the kids, because if I have to say ‘no’ one more time my head will explode…I am not a fan of this wall, but here I am – again.
What if I’m destined to always find myself at this wall? My internal terrorist kicks in. I’ve allowed my life & my health to be held captive to this terrorist before. There have been days, months, man, there have even been some years when this voice has been kicked off the island, but stress has kicked in recently and its whispering has begun again.
You know what, this time it’s going to be kicked off for good & bloody fast. You know why? Because finally after so many years, I finally recognise the bastard.
This terrorist isn’t about self esteem and the fact that I don't fit the media’s definition of body image or the perfect “work from home mum” cookie cutter. It isn’t about ‘strong is the new skinny’ or feeling bold enough to wear a bikini regardless of my stretch marks.
This is about my life!
This is about sucking the marrow out of everyday, and not getting to the end of my life and realising that I have not lived.
This is about pulling up my big girl panties and fighting like a girl for my dreams and the life I believe I was created to live.
If that terrorist can keep me bound up in fear, doubt, shame & excuses, it wins at keeping me out of the adventure we call life, and the uniqueness that I bring – that we all bring to the table. Then that uniqueness is left withering away behind desks, and couches, and Facebook statuses everywhere. I’m tired of letting shame, fear & doubt pull my eyes down and drag them off the prize.
One thing I have going for me, that you have going for you, and never underestimate this one thing. We’re not dead yet.
I choose to step away from the wall again. I choose to pick up my uniqueness and the gifts that I have and use them to fight for the life I was called to live. I choose to eat healthy, I choose to get outside and move, I choose to challenge my body, mind & spirit daily, I choose to stop comparing myself to others, because I choose to live this life to the full and that is not going to happen if I sit on my ass and listen to the terrorist.
If I want to do all the things I dream of … If I want even a hint of a chance at doing those things, I need to be disciplined when it comes to my health choices, being strong and maybe wearing a bikini are bonuses.
And so today is a new day.
I reclaim my power and I step away from the wall.
Do I think it will be easy? Heck no! But life & dreams are worth fighting for and it’s way too lonely in that place.
Besides, I don’t do it alone. What is an adventure without girlfriends who will walk beside me, kick my butt when I need it, reach back and pull me up to get over that hump?
So are you in? Want to do this thing together & really, truly, TRAVEL PLAY LIVE?
Take my hand, step away from the wall, take a big breath. Today is a new day and guess what you are ALIVE!
Have you been at the wall? What do you do to ‘step away’?