A while back I wrote a post about hitting a wall & taking back my power, you can read it here. It was nice to hear from those of you who knew exactly what I was talking about – it’s always good to know you are not alone.
So what have I been doing about it? Well it’s all about baby steps and the overarching theme for my year - BALANCE. I’ve put together a few life lessons that I have been applying to my life to steer me away from the wall. Love to know what you do to 'step away'.
Better yet, STOP for a moment! The world WILL NOT FALL APART if you take some time out. In the crazy busyness of life, it is essential for your mental, emotional & physical wellbeing to rest. It gives your mind & body time to heal itself and by slowing down, you will get a better perspective on where you are at. Take a walk barefoot on the grass, make a daisy chain, get your nails done – find what works for you.
Oh, and put down the phone – don’t miss the wonder that is all around us.
Own it & Be accountable
Don't blame someone else, especially not the hubby, the kids or the dog. Acknowledge that your actions & choices have brought you to this place, but that you have the free will and choice to do something about how you respond to the wall.
To become more accountable:
- Make sure that you're clear about your roles and responsibilities.
- Be honest with yourself and others, so you can admit when you’re wrong, apologize, and move on.
- Make the most of your time, and manage it carefully so that you don't take on too much.
- Last, think carefully about situations where you didn’t take responsibility but should have. These mistakes and failures can be valuable teaching tools, if you have the courage to learn from them. (source)
Forgiveness doesn’t make a wrong doing right, but it does releases you from the burden of carrying around the doubt, guilt, shame, bitterness, fear and anger that we like to heap upon ourselves.
Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for happiness, health and peace. Forgiveness can lead to:
- Healthier relationships
- Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
- Less anxiety, stress and hostility
- Lower blood pressure
- Fewer symptoms of depression
- Stronger immune system
- Improved heart health
- Higher self-esteem
How do you forgive? I’ve found a good way to start is to mull over the situation/person you need to forgive, don’t judge it, acknowledge the emotions you feel about it, but don’t entertain them, then quietly say ‘I forgive this situation/person and I want to be free from the burden of carrying around the baggage this person/situation imposes upon my life.’ There is no formula, no time limit, just commitment to the process.
Still not sure about the value of forgiveness, check out this article from the Mayo Clinic
Reassess & Focus
What are you focusing on? Cause whatever it is good or bad, you will move towards it. Don’t like where you are heading? See point number one & re-focus. There is nothing worse than taking stock 5 years down the track and realizing you were focusing on the wrong things.
Set some goals
Start with 1 thing you want to achieve or change weekly, monthly & yearly.
Once you have started to change your perspective and got a few habits kicked or mastered add some more goals. By starting out small, you are setting your self up for wins.
There is nothing worse than setting the goal of clean eating 100% of the time only to fall off the wagon the first time a kid has a major meltdown and you reach for that medicinal chocolate bar then throw in the towel – you know what I’m saying right?
Get a Coach or Mentor
This is SO important. All too often we think we can do it alone, but all that does is set you up to be lonely. I love the African Proverb – If you want to go fast go alone, if you want to go far go together. Be it a personal trainer, life coach, mentor, pastor, reliable & honest friend – find someone who will keep you on track, kick your butt when you need it, pick you up when you stumble and celebrate with you when you win.
One step at a time, have a little faith
You’ve slowed down, you’ve focused, set some goals and got some accountability - now you have to trust the process. Listen to your heart & that still small voice that says ‘you got this’. There is a great story about an order of monks that use to wear candles on their shoes that would only light up just enough to see one step ahead. I love this story – by going one step at a time you are forced to trust the journey & focus on your destination.
This journey we are on we call life, it's a marathon not a sprint. Anything worth living your life for is worth the perseverance. Don’t give up. In the words of a very wise fish, ‘just keep swimming, just keep swimming.’